oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize