Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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