hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
