I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize