His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize