i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You don't make any sense
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