found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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