The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize