She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
