great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
