What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Randomize