You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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