Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
