Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
