Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
