Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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