i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
