These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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