I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
