We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
