Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
they're like a gay fantastic four
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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