1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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