All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
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