i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
