Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
