we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
