oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
