I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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