how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
