it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sext me about skeletons
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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