that's an acceptable place to lick
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
