the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
