i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
