Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
