Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
