You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
