Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
