Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she peed on how many people?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
