never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
