i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
These tits shall not be calmed
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
