Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
