when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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