question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize