my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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