Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
