He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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