She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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