I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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