Buhtt sex?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
