What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
