hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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