Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
