I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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