There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
