I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
