Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize