You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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