She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
