You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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