Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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