Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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