did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish you could order shots online.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize