I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
