I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
