You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
