Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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