the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
