Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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