Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
