i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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